TIME OUT or TIME IN??

I read something interesting by David Elkind today entitled, "Children with Challenging Behavior".  He feels that their are two forms of discipline: instructive....which is a matter of teaching children social skills and attitudes and punitive.... which is a matter of stamping out misbehavior through punishment.

Here is an example that demonstrates the difference.  Suppose a child is acting up and disturbing the other children.  If we take the punishment perspective, we might use the "time out" technique and put the child in another room or in an area away from the other children.  We assume the removal will teach the child to be less disruptive in the future.  If we take the instructive position, we might have a "time in".  That is, we might sit with the child and try to find out why she is upset.  It might be the case that the child has the right to be angry because she/he was called a name, got pushed etc.  Once we have the idea of why the child was troubled, we have a much better chance of helping him calm down and rejoin the group.  In a "time out", a child learns that her/his feelings are ignored and therefore no value.  A child given a "time in", learns that their feelings are important and will be attended to.  Which child is more likely to act out again????